How Are You Doing?

How are you doing? This question has become a very frequent greeting in our culture, yet we don’t always expect an honest answer. Is lying okay when answering this greeting? How often do people typically lie anyay? I interviewed 10 people to get their opinion on the subject. 

The most common answer was that they lie pretty often, but they think lying in this situation is sometimes okay. One replied that if a “ formal relationship asks you that, it’s not the best idea to give them all your problems right away.” She believes that since the question has become a simple greeting, a simple answer, even if dishonest, is alright. Another response was that they lie if “they think it will impact who’s asking in a negative way.” A few other responses basically said the same thing. They figured they are doing more harm than good if they are honest about how they are actually doing. These answers didn’t surprise me, but they kind of saddened me. It showed me that we live in a society where honesty has become too complex. It isn’t always a quick easy answer, so the easy thing to do is just lie. However, I believe we should strive to tell the truth anyway and the minority of the 10 people agreed with me.

One response was that it’s “always best to be honest.” They also thought the reason people typically lie in regards to the question is because “people don’t want to share what’s going on because they might be embarrassed.” I agree. We have become a very individualized society where many are too prideful to share their burdens with others, but sharing these burdens can really be a way for us to deepen relationships with people we aren’t as close to. The same response also said that the lying response “is a sign that our society is fast paced and doesn’t take the time to really process. We need to slow down and be in a real relationship with each other.” This response hit right on the nose. Life is very difficult, but when we lie and say that life is good anyway, it stops us from possibly bonding with another who also could be struggling with life. Honesty to this simple greeting can open doors to conversations where we can discover we aren’t alone in our struggle with life. 

Overall, honesty really is the best policy even when just answering the greeting of how are you doing. If you don’t truly want to know how someone is doing, then don’t ask them the question. There are plenty of other ways you can greet someone. Next time someone asks you how you are, slow down and give an honest response. The resulting conversations might surprise you.